Saturday, July 01, 2006

The rise and fall of loving you

Thoughts resonated in my head for a long time but
I finally walked away from you
obviously we’re not compatible
no sense delaying the inevitable.
Sparkle is gone from your eyes
no longer linger over a kiss
used to fantasize and now we patronize
patience worn thin from dealing with your moods
still I kept clinging because I admire your beauty
knowing you’re not exactly what I want or need
physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
Your eyes hypnotize and mesmerize and kept me holding on
waiting, anticipating, expecting, hoping something would change…but it didn’t.

Twice now I have walked away,
deep down inside that’s what you want and what I need
then why am I having such a hard time letting go?
still look at your pictures even though you removed mine
desire to call you or mail you online
I refuse to open up that Pandora’s box
not allowing myself to be hurt again by you.
Hope you find what you’re looking for, what you need
someone who can put up with your many personalities
someone who can live up to your great expectations
it’s certainly not me, I’ve got to be free, at least from you
been hurt so much you don’t have the capacity to love.
Then why do I still see those eyes, that smile, that hair, complexion,
that body language that once pulled me in your direction?

Why can’t I just let go?
I have forgiven, why can’t I just forget?
Why do I still wake up with thoughts of you in my brain, driving me insane
keep creeping into my mind
the things we did and said
nights we held each other tight
days in the desert, the minutes the hours
the wine and the flowers
the uncontrollable laughter, the impromptu dance, endless conversation,
the hugs, the kisses, the joy, the pain
knowing I’ll never see you again
Why is it so hard for me to let go?

07/01/06 © Lunarmax Productions

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” Richard Bach

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