Christ is the Rock

We erroneously think that the Old Testament is just full of interesting stories from which we can derive moral lessons. However, the entire Bible points to Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Here is just one example...in Exodus chapter 17, God used Moses to deliver the children of Israel from slavery in Egypt. They had witnessed the miraculous plagues that God brought on the Egyptians and the miracle of a lifetime when the Red Sea parted and they crossed on dry land. Yet they continually doubted God's provision for them. By the time they arrived at Rephidim they were thirsty and complained about their lack of water. They were ready to stone Moses to death. They demanded that he give them water to drink! God instructed Moses to strike a particular rock with his staff and water would gush out for all to drink. This rock prophesied Jesus Christ who would willingly give his life as a ransom for many and provide living water. Just as Moses would strike the rock, Jesus would be beaten, suffer and die to provide spiritual refreshment for us, through Him the Holy Spirit (living water) would flow to mankind.

Consider what Jesus said about the life giving water that He provides,

"...those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." John 4:13

"Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (When he said “living water,” he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory.) John 7:38-39

The Apostle Paul plainly states the truth about this analogy...

"I don’t want you to forget, dear brothers and sisters, about our ancestors in the wilderness long ago. All of them were guided by a cloud that moved ahead of them, and all of them walked through the sea on dry ground. In the cloud and in the sea, all of them were baptized as followers of Moses. All of them ate the same spiritual food, and all of them drank the same spiritual water. For they drank from the spiritual rock that traveled with them, and that rock was Christ. Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness." 1 Corinthians 10:1-5

In a similar instance the Israelites were camped at Kadesh and are in need of water again. God desires to expand on the "Rock" analogy but Moses obviously failed to understand the point, so his frustration and anger somewhat destroy the illustration.

God spoke to Moses: "Take the staff. Assemble the community, you and your brother Aaron. Speak to that rock that's right in front of them and it will give water. You will bring water out of the rock for them; congregation and cattle will both drink." Moses took the staff away from God's presence, as commanded. He and Aaron rounded up the whole congregation in front of the rock. Moses spoke: "Listen, rebels! Do we have to bring water out of this rock for you?" With that Moses raised his arm and slammed his staff against the rock—once, twice. Water poured out. Congregation and cattle drank. God said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you didn't trust me, didn't treat me with holy reverence in front of the People of Israel, you two aren't going to lead this company into the land that I am giving them." Numbers 20:7-12

Moses was told to speak to the rock this time and water would flow. Jesus has already suffered to pay the penalty for our sins, all we have to do is speak to the Rock of our salvation, ask for forgiveness and confess that He is Lord to enjoy spiritual refreshment. Moses acted as though he had the power to provide water from the rock. He disobeyed God's clear instructions, invoking God's anger and was denied entrance into the Promised Land. Yet even in the midst of this God's grace provided water to drink for His rebellious fledgling nation. Although we rebel against God, He proved His love by sending Jesus Christ to die in our place. From beginning to end, the Bible is all about Jesus. God invites you to receive His gift of living water today. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." Romans 10:9, 10

The Rebellion of Korah

I'm currently reading through the Old Testament and found an interesting story in the book of Numbers chapter 16. The Israelites were camped out in the wilderness and not permitted to enter the Promised Land because of their lack of faith in God. Obviously they were frustrated and disappointed and tempers began to flare. One man named Korah had incited a group of 250 men to rebel against Moses, God's appointed leader. They didn't like the idea that Moses was running the whole show. They complained about the fact that Moses had lead them out of Egypt and not delivered on his promise of taking them to the land of milk and honey. They failed to realize that their lack of faith kept them out of Canaan. When confronted with the rebellion Moses threw himself on the ground and prayed for wisdom. Here's how it played out...

Then he (Moses) addressed Korah and his gang: "In the morning God will make clear who is on his side, who is holy. God will take his stand with the one he chooses. Now, Korah, here's what I want you, you and your gang, to do: Tomorrow, take censers. In the presence of God, put fire in them and then incense. Then we'll see who is holy, see whom God chooses. Sons of Levi, you've overstepped yourselves!"

Moses said to Korah, "Bring your people before God tomorrow. Appear there with them and Aaron. Have each man bring his censer filled with incense and present it to God—all 250 censers. And you and Aaron do the same, bring your censers."

So they all did it. They brought their censers filled with fire and incense and stood at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. Moses and Aaron did the same. It was Korah and his gang against Moses and Aaron at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. The entire community could see the Glory of God. God said to Moses and Aaron, "Separate yourselves from this congregation so that I can finish them off and be done with them." They threw themselves on their faces and said, "O God, God of everything living, when one man sins are you going to take it out on the whole community?" God spoke to Moses: "Speak to the community. Tell them, Back off from the tents of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram." Moses got up and went to Dathan and Abiram. The leaders of Israel followed him. He then spoke to the community: "Back off from the tents of these bad men; don't touch a thing that belongs to them lest you be carried off on the flood of their sins." So they all backed away from the tents of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.

... Moses continued to address the community: "This is how you'll know that it was God who sent me to do all these things and that it wasn't anything I cooked up on my own. If these men die a natural death like all the rest of us, you'll know that it wasn't God who sent me. But if God does something unprecedented—if the ground opens up and swallows the lot of them and they are pitched alive into Sheol—then you'll know that these men have been insolent with God." The words were hardly out of his mouth when the Earth split open. Earth opened its mouth and in one gulp swallowed them down, the men and their families, all the human beings connected with Korah, along with everything they owned. And that was the end of them, pitched alive into Sheol. The Earth closed up over them and that was the last the community heard of them.

Things written in the Old Testament were written for our learning. Only Joshua and Caleb and those who demonstrated faith in God to subdue and deliver the Promised Land into the hands of the Israelites actually entered the land. Likewise those who demonstrate lack of faith in Jesus Christ to deliver us from destruction will never enter into the Promised Land (new heaven and new earth). We also see the danger in slandering God's appointed leader. Too many people grumble and complain about their pastor instead of submitting to his God-given leadership position. Here's what the Apostle Paul had to say about it....

Never speak harshly to an elder, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Elders who do their work well should be respected and paid well, especially those who work hard at both preaching and teaching. Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others. I solemnly command you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus and the holy angels to obey these instructions without taking sides or showing favoritism to anyone. 1 Timothy 5:1, 17, 19 - 21

Resurrection Day

One of the things I love about this time of year is how various colors emerge as nature resurrects from its winter death sentence. This is also the time of year when we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. With remarkable accuracy, Jesus fulfilled over 300 Old Testaments prophecies concerning his life, death, burial and resurrection. Here's the account from the Gospel of John...

Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying. And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him." When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, "Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away." Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, "Rabboni!" (which means, Teacher). Jesus said to her, "Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, 'I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.'" Mary Magdalene came, announcing to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord," and that He had said these things to her. So when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you." And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side The disciples then rejoiced when they saw the Lord. John 20 11-20

Not only did Jesus appear to his immediate disciples after His resurrection but He also appeared to over 500 of his disciples! At the time the apostle Paul wrote about this fact many of the witnesses were still alive who would corroborate his story. Paul himself persecuted Christians until Jesus appeared to him on the road to Damascus, years after His ascension to heaven. Here is how Paul describes the good news about Jesus death, burial and resurrection...

I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said. He was seen by Peter and then by the Twelve. After that, he was seen by more than 500 of his followers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died. Then he was seen by James and later by all the apostles. Last of all, as though I had been born at the wrong time, I also saw him. For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God’s church. 1 Corinthians 15:3-9

I believe these things by faith, but still there are many skeptics today. However many agnostics and atheists like Lee Strobel and Josh McDowell took the initiative to actually study the claims of Christ. The overwhelming evidence lead them to believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Even Josephus the 1st century historian attests to evidence of Jesus' resurrection...

" ... About this time there lived Jesus, a wise man, if indeed one ought to call him a man. For he was one who wrought surprising feats and as a teacher of such people as accept the truth gladly. He won over many Jews and many of the Greeks. He was the Messiah. When Pilate, upon hearing him accused by men of the highest standing amongst us, had condemned him to be crucified, those who had in the first place come to love him did not give up their affection for him. On the third day he appeared to them restored to life, for the prophets of God had prophesied these and countless other marvelous things about him. And the tribe of the Christians, so called after him, has still to this day not disappeared." Josephus' Testimonium Flavianum, from Antiquities of the Jews 18:63-64

The Gospel of John closes with the reason for his writing. It's so that you will be presented with the factual truth about Jesus and hopefully come to believe his claims. We who believe in Him have hope beyond the grave... because He rose from the dead, so shall we!

Therefore many other signs Jesus also performed in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name. John 20:30-31

Good Friday

I stand amazed at the great lengths God would go to just to save us. You might say, "Why do I need to be saved? What am I being saved from?" It all goes back to the Garden of Eden. The story is found in the Book of Genesis. God created Adam and Eve and gave them simple instructions which ultimately they disobeyed. God had warned them that their disobedience would result in death. They chose to listen to the temptation of Satan rather than the clear command of God. The result was their banishment from the Garden, eventual physical death and separation from God. However God promised that he would provide a way of reconciliation for them. Since we all descended from Adam and Eve, the same curse is upon us, we're born, we die and without God's intervention we would be eternally separated from him in a place of torment...fire and brimstone.
God says we are all born as sinners. Some will readily admit to being sinners but others believe we are basically good. The problem is that we have the wrong standard. We think we're good because we're not as bad as others who may be drunks, murderers or thieves. God is the one who sets the standard and His standard is nothing short of perfection. "...For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood." Romans 3:23-25
I don't understand why God loves mankind but I'm just glad that He does. He loves us so much that He provided a way of escape from eternal punishment. If we accept the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and allow Him to have control of our lives, we can become righteous in God's eyes. "...When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:6-8
This morning I read The Gospel of John, chapters 18 and 19 to my wife before we prayed. I think it's good to be reminded of the price that Jesus paid to redeem us from the penalty of our sin. The cross can be minimalized to jewelry or clothing adornment but it was the most brutal form of execution ever known to man. But God decided this would be the method by which Jesus would willingly give up His life. "... Pilate had Jesus flogged with a lead-tipped whip. The soldiers wove a crown of thorns and put it on his head, and they put a purple robe on him. “Hail! King of the Jews!” they mocked, as they slapped him across the face." "...So they took Jesus away. Carrying the cross by himself, he went to the place called Place of the Skull. There they nailed him to the cross." John 19:1-3,17
That's what makes Good Friday "good". Jesus suffered the ignominious death on the cross but it was "good" for us because He became the substitute to appease a holy God on our behalf. I don't have to understand it, I just need to believe it and accept it by faith. "For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ." 2 Corinthians 5:21

Humble Radio Beginnings

Since my childhood I have always loved radio. Growing up in Philly in the 60's I heard some of the best music with some of the best disc jockeys of that era. They influenced me to dabble in college radio but I never dreamed that I would ever be as good. In 1972, I graduated from Overbrook Regional High School in Pine Hill, NJ and left home within 2 months. I packed my belongings and at 17 years old, I took a 17 hour Greyhound Bus ride to Tusculum College in Greeneville, TN. That bus trip changed my life completely.

Tennessee was a totally different world. I spent the first 14 years of my life in Philly, a city known for fast paced, hard living. That world was all concrete, asphalt, brick and mortar. Moving to Tennessee was like stepping back in time. The pace was slow and easy, people were friendly and the mountains were beautiful. Tusculum College recruited heavily in the Northeast so I was surprised to meet so many students with similar backgrounds. There was a campus radio station WTCR, a one watt, carrier current, student run station in the basement of the Student Union building. The signal was only strong enought to cover the campus. I had only been on campus for a month before asking "Norton", the student manager for a radio shift. Without any prior knowledge or radio experience he was willing to put me on the air. He showed me how to cue records and work the antique audio mixing board and then he turned me loose. Every evening I would bring my collection of rock albums and play my favorites for all my friends to hear. This was the humble beginning of a great radio career.

Fast forward to 1979 -1980. I was unemployed and attending church in Kingsport, TN. One particular Sunday I shared with a friend about my lack of work and he asked about my experience. When I mentioned my college radio experience, he ramarked that his friend might be interested in me. Turns out his friend was John Frye, the manager of Holston Valley Broadcasting Corporation. At that time this company owned WKPT AM, FM and TV. After the interview they trained me, and gave me a weekend shift on both of their radio stations. WKPT FM was one of the old "Beautiful Music" formatted stations (sleepy elevator music) but WKPT-AM (14KPT) was their Top 40 station. It was quite a learning experience because I had to operate both radio stations on my shift. The FM basically consisted of a room sized computer than played music sequentially off 10 inch reels from a set of six Revox tape recorders. Every hour I would play a 5 minute song on the AM station, run down the hall to the production room, record my news and weather on "carts" (which looked like 8 track tapes), then run down to the FM station and load them into this massive computer system, affectionately known as "Otto" (short for automation) then run back to the AM studio before my song ended. On the AM station, I developed the personality known as "Jay Christian", a name that represented my faith in Christ. During the week I was working for a company that made solar panels but on the weekends I honed my skills on the popular music of the day. All of the music was on carts which meant we didn't have to cue records anymore. We played a mix of music from the 60's, 70's and the top 40 hits. I felt like I belonged on the air, I was comfortable, I had a natural feel for the music (being a musician) and I had a lot of top 40 DJ inside of me just waiting to come out...

Weekend to Remember

Several weeks ago we enjoyed beautiful vibrant sunrises as we would drive from Plains to Meade each morning. Then came daylight savings time and we were driving to work in the dark. Well...as the season progresses we're once again seeing spectacular sunrises as we drive in to work. I guess has something to do with the earth's rotation but now we see the sunrise on the North side of the road rather than the South side. Nonetheless it's a beautiful sight to behold and my mind recalls the verse that says..."The heavens declare the glory of God."

This weekend we attended the Family Life "Weekend to Remember" marriage conference at the beautiful Wichita Hyatt hotel. Through the generosity of our radio station we attended this conference free of charge. We listened to some insightful speakers and participated in projects designed to develop and strengthen communication. We learned much about each other and now comes the hard part...application! Learning truth is wonderful but it's only through application that transformation comes...that is the goal. We had a wonderful date Saturday night at the Mediterranean Grill. It was undoubtedly the best Middle Eastern food we've ever eaten!

We planned on returning from Wichita Sunday afternoon but our worship leader just had surgery, so we agreed to cut our trip short and return in time to lead worship. We got a 4:30 wake up call from the front desk and after a hot shower and some weak coffee we hit the road. Upon leaving Wichita we encountered rain and as we drove further West the rain changed to snow and ice accompanied by 50 mph winds. Every now and then I would release my death grip on the steering wheel just to get some blood circulating in my hands again. Ironically when we finally returned to Meade County we had sunshine (albeit with 50 mph winds). We arrived home about 8:15 and got to church at 8:35 just in time for worship team rehearsal. I was very tired and wired from such a hectic morning. Many of the teens were tired too from staying up all night after the prom. But by the grace of God we had a wonderful service (including the worship music).

The Blizzard of 2009

Well after two weeks of spring weather, winter is back. We had several inches of snow last night with more to come. They are predicting a blizzard tonight with 15 inches of snow and 50 mph winds. So much for global warming! I haven’t seen that much snow since the blizzard of ‘93, the one that hit from Cuba to Canada. I was living in upstate NY at the time and we got 6 feet of snow…shut the state down!

One of our friends flew from Boise to Denver just ahead of the storm. She got the last flight from Denver to Wichita and my wife picked her up yesterday. All other flights form Denver International Airport were canceled because of the blizzard. She and my wife are supposed to be working a booth at the home show in Garden City but it’s probably canceled too. I have a snow day from work I guess the three of us will be holed up here at home.

While on vacation I gained ten pounds. But as of today I’m back to my pre-vacation weight minus one more pound. That’s a total of 64 pounds gone forever! I’ve had lots of activity between the Pilates DVD, Leslie Sansone’s 4 fast miles and my 10 minute Fat Blasting Latin dance workout (now that’s fun)! My wife even got a belly dancing exercise video. That rocks!

Sixties Philly Top 40 Radio

Growing up in Philly in the 60's, I got a good dose of great Top 40 radio. Stations like WDAS, WFIL and WIBG were legendary with "boss jocks" like Hy Lit, Georgie Woods, Dr. Don Rose, Joe Niagara and Jimmy Bishop. Unless you lived through this era you just don't understand. In 1964 the music was new, fresh and innovative. I witnessed the beginning of the British Invasion when the Beatles were featured on the Ed Sullivan TV show. Radio stayed on top of this new genre with bands like the Dave Clark Five, Zombies, The Hollies, The Animals, Chad and Jeremy, Manfred Mann, Peter & Gordon, Freddie and the Dreamers and The Troggs. The music was so hot, I recall one morning when a particular Beatles song entered the charts at #40 and that afternoon when I returned from school it was the #1 song!

WDAS was the top station for people of color. Running parallel with the British invasion was the Motown movement out of Detroit with artists like Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Diana Ross & The Supremes, The Four Tops, The Temptations, Martha and the Vandellas, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Jr. Walker & the All Stars, The Contours and The Jackson 5. There was Philly Soul with the music of the Delfonics, The Intruders, Jerry Butler, Patti LaBelle and the Bluebells, Bunny Sigler, Brenda and the Tabulations, and Major Harris. As a kid in South Philly I remember when guys would stand on the corner, under the street light and sing the sweetest acapella doo-wop harmony you ever heard!! Every week there were new soul songs on the radio and there would be corresponding new dances. According to my mother, I was dancing before I could walk! With American Bandstand, Ed Sullivan and the Jerry Blavat Show, we got to see all our favorite new bands on TV, but I was hooked on radio...the fast talking, supercool DJ's and the infectious music. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture myself with a radio career.

...to be continued

Ol' 55

I celebrated my birthday yesterday
with a bit of obvious ambivalence
glad for the experience gained
sad for the things I’ve never changed
it precipitated an objective retrospective
changed my perspective by directive.
Whom have I influenced within my sphere
is the world really any better here
have I made a difference by my presence
or fallen to the acquiescence of obsolescence?
This quest has drawn a certain conclusion
only change is constant … that’s no illusion
knowledge never is perfectly complete
life’s learned lessons are quite bittersweet.

Lunarmax Productions

January 28, 2001

2008 Year in Review

We are so very grateful for the opportunities God has given us to serve Him. We spent a year working as a CARES team for Apartment Life Ministries in Northwest Phoenix. Our responsibility was to provide community and resident services at Renaissance Apartments. That consisted of welcome visits, teen activities, cookouts, pool parties, visiting the sick and even a Super Bowl party all in the name of building community. Personally we had the opportunity to build numerous relationships, have hundreds of spiritual conversations with residents and experience one single mother commit her life to Jesus Christ. The spiritual adventure of being a CARES Team helped Jay develop a servant's heart. A'Lisa is already gifted in that area.

This year brought with it Jay's desire to return to Christian radio. After a nationwide search, God opened the door for him at Great Plains Christian Radio in Meade, Kansas. They actually have two radio stations, He's on KJIL from noon to 3pm (Contemporary Christian) and KHYM from 3 - 7pm (Inspirational format). The stations cover SW Kansas and portions of Texas, Colorado and Oklahoma. Working at the radio station enabled Jay to preach all over SW Kansas, whenever churches needed pulpit supply. So many times the Lord has confirmed that this is where He wants us to be, through His provision and the many ministry opportunities.

A'Lisa dreamed of opening a local coffee house that would become a social haven. The Lord allowed her to meet another local woman who owned a historic hotel (The Palace) and she had everything needed to open a coffee house. Thus the Palace coffee house was born. In addition to providing coffee and other homemade goodies to the community A'Lisa has used the Palace for fun events like jewelry classes, Bunco game nights, live music, ice cream eating contests, trunk or treat and now it's decorated for the annual Christmas tour. This became more than a job for A'Lisa, as she uses the opportunity to minister to just about everyone who darkens the doors. She has had many spiritual conversations, provided a listening ear, prayed for people, invited them to church, shared her faith in Christ, laughed and cried with them or just gave them a hug when necessary.

We miss being able to visit Jessy and Andy. Living in Phoenix we were just 30 minutes away from each other and could get together easily. Our daughter Jessica from Chattanooga spent a week with us back in March. We made all the Arizona tourist stops like the Grand Canyon and Sedona. She really enjoyed her visit. James and Jeshua are doing well. God provided the money for A'Lisa to spend a week with Alex recently. It was good for her to see Alex and be assured that he's taking care of himself.

We attend Plains Christian Church, a non-denominational ministry which is about 15 miles West of Meade. A'Lisa helps teach the children's Sunday School class and Jay helps our Pastor teach the adults. Recently Jay was installed as the Associate Pastor (part time), since our Pastor really needs additional staff. Soon we will move to the parsonage in Plains and begin this new chapter of our lives. We are so excited about working together with Pastor Rich and his wife to reach out to the surrounding community.

Remember our Lord Jesus' command, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

May you and your family have a wonderfully blessed Christ centered Christmas!

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy, to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Christmas Enchantment

Yesterday I left work at 11:00 picked up A’Lisa and we headed to Plains to work on the house. Our pastor came by about Noon and we had already started painting. With his help we were able to knockout a couple of rooms. We really appreciate his help. “Many hands make light work.” We cleaned up the mess, drove back to Meade, ate burgers and salad for dinner and settled down to rest.

I asked A'Lisa to call the Enns family who let me use their car last week while she was in Boise and please express our thanks. Well she did just that and before she hung up, Mrs. Enns said, “You’re coming to the Christmas program tonight aren’t you?” To which A'Lisa replied “Sure! What time is it?”… “7:30…OK…we’ll be there!”

At that point she reminded me of our commitment. Mrs. Enns daughter Eva is A'Lisa's best friend and she asked us to attend her daughter’s Christmas program. She is a single mom and we love to help her and her girls in any way we can. So we honored our promise, bundled up in the 10 degree cold and drove to the school. So many people were there we had to park quite a distance away and that little walk was brutal in the below freezing temperatures!

Eva had saved me a seat on the front row so that I could video her girls. I sat next to her nieces and encouraged them before they sang. I must admit, I would rather have been at home lounging in my recliner but the Christmas program was absolutely wonderful. Our children are all grown and it’s probably been 15 years since I attended anything like that. I couldn’t help but smile as the kindergarten through sixth grade presented their music, songs and the play for us. They were so cute and charming! Some of them dressed in their Sunday best. Others were dressed in costume for the play. I noticed that some of the kids knew every word and motion, while others just lip-synced and tried their best to keep up. There were those who looked nervous and others looked so confident they could be rock stars. I enjoyed myself immensely at this enchanting performance and was glad to honor our commitment to Eva and the girls!

White Christmas

Having spent the last 2 years in Arizona and before that living in Florida, it's been quite some time since I have experienced cold weather. Since moving to Kansas, I've seen my share of cold and wind and it's not even officially winter yet! They've been forecasting snow for the last couple of weeks and we've had only a flurry or two. The prognosticators called for snow last night and when I awoke at 4:00 this morning and looked outside I saw nothing, but we have wind gusts up to 45 mph.

Two hours later I went to the back door to put the dog (Bagel) outside and we were both shocked to see an inch or two of snow. Now Bagel hates rain, she doesn't even like to get wet and she didn't know what to think about this stuff. I had to drag her outside and after five minutes she was ready to come back in. You know, she might get her paws wet!

Anyway, A'Lisa made it to Boise to be with our son Alex. When she returns home she may be surprised to see everything covered in white. I wasn't dreaming of a white Christmas but it looks like we're going to have one!

An Attitude of Gratitude

I want to continue my thread of thankfulness...today being thankful to God. We have a 20 year old son who lives in Boise, he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 9 years old. Not maintaining strict control of his blood sugar landed him in CCU at the hospital for 3 days last week. They finally got his blood glucose levels under control and sent him home Friday. I wanted to send my wife to visit him but our finances are tight.

Last night at the Christmas party our manager handed out bonus checks. This was totally unexpected. My bonus was the equivalent of two weeks pay! He told me in private that since I've only been here 7 months that normally I would only receive half that amount. But since he and the board appreciated the fine work that I do, they decided to give me the whole amount! God is good! Now A'Lisa can spend the week with Alex in Boise. What a tremendous blessing!

Concerning the party, I was tempted by the cheesecake (my favorite dessert) but did not indulge. I just enjoyed the prime rib, salmon piccata, vegetables and salad. One local pastor's wife has been asking about the low carb lifestyle, so I sent her some low carb links on Friday. I noticed that even she avoided the sweets last night. I love the "paying it forward" concept!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!

Back to the Routine

Well, I had a busy weekend. We spent Thanksgiving with some good friends. Friday morning I came to the radio station to record my shows, in the afternoon spent about 3 hours practicing for the Down Home Christmas Concert and then performed Friday night. Saturday we slept in, did some shopping in the afternoon, and had a quiet evening at home. Sunday I preached at two local churches, then we were invited out to lunch and spent the remainder of the day decorating our home for Christmas and playing games.

What I noticed this weekend is that being out of my routine, I tended to eat more than usual, however I still ate low carb. Now it's Monday and I know from experience that it's much easier to follow my routine when I'm working. Today I'll get back to tracking all my food on fitday and make sure I'm getting balanced meals.

This month I'll be joining the staff at my church as Associate Pastor. I'll still be working at the radio station and work at the church part time. We'll be moving to Plains, which is about 15 miles away, into a house provided by the church. The house will be part of my monthly remuneration. Suffice it to say, I will get plenty of exercise working on the new house. We want to paint and remodel before moving in. We'll actually move some time in January. That's what's happening in my world, should be an interesting month!

Thanksgiving Day!

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone. I ate much more than usual but managed to keep my carbs down. I just had a small breakfast of 1 egg, bacon and cheese. About noon I made a meat and cheese tray with celery and pickles. My wife and I snacked on that and sampled the cheese ball she made. I made some stuffed jalapenos to take to our friends house and A'Lisa made green beans with almonds, sugar free cranberry/orange relish, cheese ball, cheesecake, pumpkin bake and real whipped topping.

At our friends house we had the stuffed jalapenos and cheese ball with celery for appetizers with a small glass or two of white zinfandel. About an hour later we had dinner and I avoided all the high carb/sugar laden stuff. I simply had dark meat turkey, cranberry relish and green beans. For dessert I had cheesecake and pumpkin bake with whipped topping.

I was pretty stuffed after dinner and then we played this game called "Apples to Apples." It was lots of fun. Usually I don't eat after 6 pm, but when I came home I ate a few more jalapenos and had another small slice of cheesecake. Now back to my normal routine!

Thanksgiving

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

This is Thanksgiving week 2008. There is so much for which to thank God. We live in exciting times because we can see the handwriting on the wall and we know that the return of Jesus is imminent. Thank God that we still have our freedom in America and that we worship Him without government interference. Thank you Lord that you set your plan for mankind into motion long before anything was even created. Thank you for revealing yourself and your plans for us through your Word. Thank you that you love us and you knew that we would rebel against you, so you planned for our redemption.

Lord Jesus, thank you for your willingness to humble yourself, take on the form of a man, live 33 sinless years and become obedient to the point of death on a cross. God made you to become sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in you Jesus. Thank you for being our substitute, paying the price that we owed for the penalty of our sins. Through you we have redemption, the forgiveness of our sins, abundant life now and eternal life with you. Because of your sacrifice we can come boldly to the throne of grace to obtain help in time of need. Thank you Lord for enduring the cross, scorning its shame, and now you sit at the right hand of the throne of God, ever making intercession for us. Now God has exalted you to the highest place and given you the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Thank you Father for my spouse who is the perfect complement for me, thank you for our children and our extended family. Thank you for our Christian friends and even those we desire to become part of the family of God. Thank you for health and strength, for the activity of our limbs, for the experience of our senses. Thank you for the beauty of the world around us, the sun, moon and stars, all of nature and the beautiful colors we experience each year. Thank you for food, clothing, shelter, material blessings, for our jobs and the ability to do our work for your glory. Thank you Lord for giving us a future and a hope. We eagerly await the day when the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise. Then we who are still alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Our hearts are filled with gratitude because we are called, chosen and kept by the power of your Holy Spirit. All glory, praise and honor is due to you O God our Father, in the matchless name of Jesus our wonderful Lord and Savior, Amen.

Sedulous Sunday

Yesterday I wasn't feeling well but was scheduled to preach at the Lutheran church in Liberal, so I fulfilled my obligation. We were done so early that I attended the service at my home church afterwards. A group of folks invited us to lunch at Pizza Hut, so we went with them.

I should have ordered the regular chicken wings but I ordered the boneless wings and was shocked when the brought out the order. They looked like big chicken nuggets with lots of breading. So I picked off as much breading as possible and just ate the meat (there wasn't much meat left after taking off all the breading)!

Then we traveled to Dodge City to see Christian comedian Ken Davis. This was sponsored by our radio station so I needed to attend. He was so funny that I was cracking up and that would make me start coughing. I spent two hours laughing, coughing, crying and snotting and went through two handkerchiefs!

I really overdid it yesterday and today I was so tired. I went to work for just four hours, recorded my two shows and cleaned off my desk and now I'm back home. My lungs hurt from so much talking but I am getting better. I'm taking Baxin, Mucinex, Echinacea/Golden Seal and all my vitamins. At least I can rest my voice for the remainder of the day!

One Way

During the Jesus Movement of the '70s, the "One Way" sign became a popular icon. "One Way" bumper stickers, posters and lapel pins were everywhere, and the "One Way" slogan for a time became the catchphrase for Christianity. Christians knew that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. "One Way" seemed to be an unshakable belief that all Christians held in common. That was then...this is now.

Why have we abandoned what believers once all agreed to be absolutely true? It's because in our quest to be relevant, we have actually failed to see where the contemporary world is going and why.

The dominant worldview today is called postmodernism. That means reality is whatever you imagine it to be. What is "true" is determined subjectively by each person, and there is no such thing as objective, authoritative truth that governs or applies to all humanity. "Truth" becomes nothing more than a personal opinion, usually best kept to yourself. Postmodernism seems driven by a broad-minded concern for tolerance. But the postmodernist belief system has an utter intolerance for biblical Christianity.

According to a Barna poll from 2000, about one out of four born-again Christians believes that it doesn't matter what faith you follow because they all teach the same lessons. A June 2008 report by the Pew Research Center revealed some interesting stats: 57 percent of the evangelical Christians surveyed reported believing that "many religions can lead to eternal life." In a March 2008 broadcast Oprah declared to millions of viewers, "Jesus can't be the only way, there are many ways to God."

Technically, all roads do lead to the same place. Ultimately we will all stand before a just and holy God. The question is, will you stand before Him as Savior or as Judge. Proverbs 14:12 states that "there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Therefore according to scripture, all roads paved and walked by men lead to spiritual death, i.e., eternal separation from God. Revelation 20:11-15 says that only those whose names are written in the Book of Life will have eternal life. So all roads do lead to God, but only one road leads to eternal life.

Why don't we think this way in other areas of life? In boarding a plane, we want to make sure we are on the right plane to our destination so we do our research, ask questions, and make sure we are boarding the right plane. We want to make sure we take the right medicine so we ask questions, do our research, and listen to people who have spent years studying medicine. In areas of nutrition we realize that there is healthy food and unhealthy food. Not all foods are the same. There are right ways and wrong ways to handle money, to conduct our relationships, and to drive our cars down the road. Isn't it possible that there is a right way and a wrong way to view spirituality?

Jesus Christ said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by me." These are not popular words in today's culture. But then again, Jesus Christ was not seeking to win a popularity contest. He said it because He knew it was true. He backed up his claims by many miracles and by rising from the dead. The evidence for these facts is recorded not only in the Bible, but also in the historical works of Josephus, Clement, Polycarp, Ignatius, Tertullian and Origen.

Although many claim that Jesus does not differ much from other religious leaders such as Buddha, Jesus' claim to be God in the flesh singles Him out of the crowd. Buddha, Muhammad or Confucius never claimed to be God. But Jesus' did and His claims were not spoken in a vacuum. They were backed by His credentials. He fulfilled a host of prophecies given by the Hebrew prophets concerning His virgin birth, His divinity, His atoning work on the cross and His resurrection from the dead.

Besides this, Jesus substantiated His divine claims with a perfectly sinless life, compassion for the downtrodden (which was often expressed through His many healing miracles, including raising the dead), His genius and authority as a teacher, and His unsurpassed insight into the human condition. It is no wonder that people worshiped Him. After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciple Thomas, who had doubted the reports that His master was raised from the dead. When Thomas saw Jesus, he cried out, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus accepted Thomas' worship.

There are those who say, I believe Jesus was a great teacher, a prophet, a good man ... but not God.
You can't have it both ways because He claimed to be God.
So that only leaves us with three possible choices:
either He is a liar, lunatic or Lord.

Maybe He was a liar: He knew He wasn't God, but He convinced others that He was. This would make Him a vicious liar.

Maybe He was a lunatic: He thought He was God, but He wasn't. He was insane.

Or just maybe He was the Lord God: He was who His followers claimed He was – the Son of God, sent to Earth to redeem man from his sins; God in the flesh. Think about it.

Creation Festival: The Tour

This was an interesting weekend. I was hardly at home at all. We spent Saturday shopping for the food to prepare for Creation Festival. A'Lisa agreed to cater the event. There were 9 Christian rock bands, roadies, managers and volunteers. We probably fed 100 people. Some of the music was pretty good, but these bands appeal to a much younger audience!

Saturday we ate out at Golden Corral and it didn't agree with either on of us (I think we need to stay out of that place). A'Lisa was sick all night, up and down, in and out of the bathroom. Neither of us got much sleep. Sunday morning we left town at 6:00 AM and drove to Dodge City by 7:00 AM to prepare for the first meal of the day. It was only continental breakfast, so it was easy to prepare. We had sweet rolls, cereal and milk, fruit, juice, coffee and tea (this is what they wanted). I planned ahead and brought bacon and eggs to cook for myself!

Lunch consisted of grilled burgers and hot dogs. I made a big pot of chili and we prepared tossed salad to go along with it. One volunteer made 20 dozen cookies, and we had soft drinks too, so there were sweets all day long. My lunch consisted of a burger with cheese.

We contracted out dinner since they basically wanted a Thanksgiving dinner, turkey with all the trimmings. One of our friends cooked 9 smoked turkeys and we made the yams w/marshmallows, cornbread stuffing, gravy, cooked veggies and salad. For dessert A'Lisa made apple and peach pie, cake and we also had store bought pumpkin pies. I chowed down on smoked turkey and salad with ranch dressing.

Food was the topic of the day, so I used the opportunity to share my low carb lifestyle with many people. By the grace of God, I was able to stay on plan, despite being surrounded by high carb foods. We cleaned up, packed everything away and hauled it back to town. We didn't get home until 10:00 pm and got to bed by 11:00 PM. It's 8:30 AM as I write this, A'Lisa is still asleep and I probably won't go to the radio station until 10:30 this morning. What a weekend, I'm glad it's over!!

"Lord give me patience!"

"Lord give me patience, and I want it now!" Experience has taught me that patience is a virtue, but it's probably not a good idea to pray for it. God develops our patience through our troubles. "...when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your patience is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4

Turning your life over to Jesus doesn't make you immune to difficulties, hardships and troubles. Bad things do happen to good people! However we can have a positive reaction when troubles come our way, knowing that God can use the circumstances for maturity and spiritual growth.

Your problems are not your punishment, God allows these things because He is passionate about your spiritual development. God is not mad at you, He is mad about you! Somehow God weaves everything together, the good and the bad, to develop beauty, growth and character in our lives. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

God is teaching me to trust Him in the midst of life's troubles, because He sees the big picture and ultimately knows what is best! "We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next." Romans 5:3-5

Transformation

When you begin a relationship with Jesus, God desires to bring about a metamorphosis in your life. It's just like the amazing process the caterpillar experiences when it becomes a butterfly. The only difference is our change not merely external.

Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice, the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:1, 2 New Living Translation

Giving our bodies to God as a living a holy sacrifice means total dedication. The words we speak, the things we do and even the thoughts we think should bring honor to Him. Considering what Jesus has done for us, it's the least we can do for Him.

Consider what your Bible says about your words:
"Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29
All of your deeds should be honorable: "...whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus." Colossians 3:17
Even our thoughts are important to God: "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Don't let the world squeeze you into its mold and drag you down to its level of immaturity. God transforms our lives by changing the way we think. That's why it's critical to fill your mind with good things. "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Philippians 4:8 It's easy to get sucked into watching the popular TV shows and movies, listen to the latest music or read the NY Times bestseller. When you have a relationship with Jesus, He wants you to fill your mind with things that are beneficial. Whatever we think about is what we will eventually act upon.

The Walk to Emmaus 10/27/08

I had a great weekend. I was a time of renewal, got a fresh perspective, made a lot of new friends, and ate a lot of food. I was surrounded by high carb foods the whole weekend but didn't succumb. They fed us three meals a day (sometimes 4) with dessert and constantly had high carb sugary treats available between meals. The only treats I had were 2 diet sodas, a sugar free lemon bar and 3 pieces of sugar free candy. However I did eat much more protein than what I've been consuming recently. The meals were self serve cafeteria style and it seems my eyes are still bigger than my stomach. I haven't stepped on the scales since I got home, kinda afraid of what I might see.

It was soooo good to get home and see my lovely wife (after four days with 60 men) and it was wonderful to sleep in my own bed. This morning I was very tired and wished I could stay home, but I'm back to work and my normal food routines. Hopefully I can quickly take off any excess weight I put on this weekend. (I wish it came off as quickly as it goes on!)

Preaching at Bethel Friends Church 10/20/08

One of our board members invited me to preach at his church in Hugoton, KS yesterday. For some reason my stomach didn't feel too good in the morning, so I just had a protein drink for breakfast, but that made me feel even worse. Fortunately when it came time for the sermon I felt better and everything went well. After church his wife invited us to their house for dinner and I mentioned that I eat low carb. She explained that she had cooked a high carb meal and should have asked me first if I had dietary restrictions. (I never know what to expect when people invite us to eat after church!)

So we went to dinner at their house and they served chicken tetrazzini (which didn't have very much chicken in it), salad, rolls, tapioca pudding and sugar cookies for dessert. If I would have eaten that meal I would have been in a carb coma afterwards!! Once again she apologized and I prepared myself to just eat salad. I asked if she had any protein and she did have some deli ham, grated cheese and some pecans. So I managed to make a decent salad with ranch dressing.

I was grateful but not satiated and started to get a headache on the 90 minute trip home. We finally got home and I couldn't wait to eat something substantial. Before leaving for church I had baked a whole chicken, so I warmed up some of that and ate a chicken breast and the wings and about a cup of cooked cabbage. At the end of the day I had remained within my protein limit of 105 grams and had a total of 25 grams of carbs. In the future I think I'll keep some jerky or nuts with me, so that no matter the situation I'll be prepared to give my body what it needs!

Heartland Beauty 9/15/08

Woke up to 45 degree temperatures in the Heartland of America this morning. The full moon gave way to bright sunshine and it's going to be a beautiful day. I had a busy weekend with the doctor's visit on Friday, taught a jewelry class on Saturday, then played with the Coffeehouse All-Stars. We served steak dinners at the coffeehouse Saturday night. What a nice to treat to eat grilled ribeye steak. Good stuff.

Yesterday after church we went to Liberal, KS. We took the plunge and went to a Chinese buffet. I ate hot and sour soup, shrimp, crab legs, steak wrapped in bacon, chicken wings, chicken satay and some green beans. I managed to get out of there without going over my carb quota. I must admit those carbs filled items looked good but I didn't succumb to the temptation. Today I get back to my regular routine.

Preaching in Ness City 8/11/08

I had a great weekend. Probably ate a few more than 20 carbs each day (too much cheese) but I'm back on track today. My wife keeps saying I'm shrinking but I don't have my scales yet to know whether I have lost any weight. When I got dressed for church yesterday I could tighten my belt three more notches. Obviously I'm losing inches. I feel much better these days and I don't have those bags under my eyes any longer!

We have had kind of a lo carb breakthrough in my household! I was invited to preach in Ness City, KS yesterday. It's about a two hour drive each way, so we had plenty of time to talk. While driving to church my wife said she is going to stop eating bread and sugar! This is a major turnaround! However, she is still reluctant to embrace my food plan. (Yet when we ordered food at the restaurant yesterday she told the waitress, "We're doing Atkins.") I'm just happy that we're making progress. That's an answer to prayer. She still labors under the assumption that fat makes you fat, even though she can see the evidence to the contrary in me. This is a time of growth (not physically) and learning for both of us!

Ol' 55

Ol' 55

I celebrated my birthday yesterday
with a bit of obvious ambivalence
glad for the experience gained
sad for the things I’ve never changed
it precipitated an objective retrospective
changed my perspective by directive
Whom have I influenced within my sphere
is the world really any better here
have I made a difference by my presence
or fallen to the acquiescence of obsolescence?

This quest has drawn a certain conclusion
only change is constant … that’s no illusion
knowledge never is perfectly complete
life’s learned lessons are quite bittersweet.

01/28/01
© Lunarmax
All Right Reserved

Sketches of Spain

Late September ‘59,
Gil Evans wrote the storyline
Miles Davis painted sketches of Spain
his trumpet played the mellifluous strain

Musical canvas conjures up images
of Sevillian caballeros,
Castillian conquistadores
pinstriped Pomeranians
and Madridian matadores.

Dusk on the beach, bright orange sunset
gyrating gypsies with colorful castanets
and frilly flamencoes flirt with hirsute brunettes
with dark doe eyes that mezmerize and hypnotize.

Whenever I hear that music it takes me back
to a time and place when I was unaware of race
of better days and happy endings
of childhood memories and humble beginnings.

2/27/02 © Lunarmax Productions

From the desert to the heartland

Well, me and my body building buddy spent all day Tuesday (05/27) loading the truck in Phoenix. That was exhausting enough, but the next day we spent 7 hours driving to Albuquerque. A'Lisa drove the car with the dog and I drove the rental truck. We spent the night there and finished the second half of the drive Thursday (05/29). We had worked so hard loading the truck that my arms and hands kept cramping up along the way, so I was massaging my arms while I drove, dreading the inevitable unloading upon reaching our destination.

When we arrived there was a welcoming committee of about 40 people to help us unload!! (Most of these people were from one of the area churches.) God knew that I was not looking forward to unloading and tremendously provided for us. Amazingly they had the truck unloaded in about 90 minutes!! I hardly had to do anything! On top of all that we were given a $50 Pizza Hut gift card and a $150 gift certificate to the local supermarket. We are still in awe of how God provided for us!

They got me started quickly on the radio stations. After just watching on Monday (06/02), they put me on the air Tuesday (06/03) with minimal supervision. The remainder of the week I was on my own and felt pretty good. I'm still getting used to things but God has been gracious to enable me to jump right back into it. People around town have been encouraging and let me know how much they like what they're hearing from me. I count it a privilege to minister through Christian radio again!

New Life

Life here in the desert has not been easy, but this marks the beginning of a new life for me. After 27 years in a bad marriage, I finally got a divorce. We tried to make it work but it was destined to fail. I resigned from my network radio position at the end of 2006 and for three months struggled to find the place where God wanted me. I moved up to Mesa, AZ to be near a beautiful young woman who has been my source of encouragement during these dark and troubling days.

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."
Psalm 119:105

This has been a time of humility and total dependence on God. He provided light in the darkness and joy in the midst of my pain. He finally supplied me with a position as an online news writer/editor for Metro NewsSource, which is owned by Westwood One. He also brought Sweet A'Lisa into my life. She is my perfect complement! We recently got married and are enjoying our new life together. She is like this beautiful cactus flower pictured here, a true rose among life's thorns. Next month we will spend a week in St. Croix for our honeymoon. What a wonderful thing to love someone who really loves me!

Music has been like salve to my wounds. I have the privilege of playing drums with the worship band at church and playing on Friday nights for Celebrate Recovery at another local church. God has allowed me to be broken, so that he could heal me. He brought me to the point of humility, so that He could raise me up. Through it all he has provided for me in miraculous ways.

"For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning."
Psalm 30:5

After the storm

Yesterday it finally happened. The first of July ushered in the “monsoon rains” that I’ve heard so much about here in Arizona. Monsoon might be a misnomer, because the word brings to mind images of unending Asiatic rain lasting for hours or days on end. However, “torrential 30 minute downpour” would be more appropriate. The rains came fast and furious and made many obvious changes.

I heard all this commotion outside my condo after the storm. I looked out the window and heard some women talking about a “big hole.” Nothing was apparent to me, so I went on about my business. This morning when I left to go hiking, I noticed what had happened. The storm uprooted a 30-foot tall mesquite tree which is now lying on my building. Apparently it had shallow roots and the strong winds and rain knocked it right out of the ground, leaving a very substantial hole in the ground. Thank God for the maintenance crew!

When I left at 7 AM for my hike up Sabino Mountain it was only 78 degrees. Last nights rains brought about a welcome change in temperature but also brought humidity, something that is rare in this arid climate. Walking up the mountain the changes in climate were obvious. There was a strong musty stench in the air and all of the dust had finally settled. Last week everything was dry, yellow and parched, longing for water but today the plant life was a vibrant, lush, happy shade of green. About a mile up the road I could also hear the difference. Seven days ago the desert was silent except for the call of the wild, today those dry desert washes had become babbling creeks, humming with the flow of much needed water. Mud across the road told me that some flash flooding took place last night. Ground here is so hard and dry that it can’t contain all the water. The desert was alive today like I’ve never seen before.

When I turned around at the two-mile marker, there came a refreshing cool breeze. The temperature was increasing but the humidity was evaporating. Coming back down is naturally always easier than the climb…but then there is “Torture Hill.” Just when you hit that last mile and you think you’re home free, that’s when you encounter that last cruel uphill climb that just saps all your strength. Fortunately today I had enough resolve and reserve that I was able to kick it into high gear and take Torture Hill gracefully. Coming to the crest of the hill, the end was in sight. I put it in cruise control, drank my last bit of water and made my way back to the point of origin, exhausted but refreshed.

The rise and fall of loving you

Thoughts resonated in my head for a long time but
I finally walked away from you
obviously we’re not compatible
no sense delaying the inevitable.
Sparkle is gone from your eyes
no longer linger over a kiss
used to fantasize and now we patronize
patience worn thin from dealing with your moods
still I kept clinging because I admire your beauty
knowing you’re not exactly what I want or need
physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
Your eyes hypnotize and mesmerize and kept me holding on
waiting, anticipating, expecting, hoping something would change…but it didn’t.

Twice now I have walked away,
deep down inside that’s what you want and what I need
then why am I having such a hard time letting go?
still look at your pictures even though you removed mine
desire to call you or mail you online
I refuse to open up that Pandora’s box
not allowing myself to be hurt again by you.
Hope you find what you’re looking for, what you need
someone who can put up with your many personalities
someone who can live up to your great expectations
it’s certainly not me, I’ve got to be free, at least from you
been hurt so much you don’t have the capacity to love.
Then why do I still see those eyes, that smile, that hair, complexion,
that body language that once pulled me in your direction?

Why can’t I just let go?
I have forgiven, why can’t I just forget?
Why do I still wake up with thoughts of you in my brain, driving me insane
keep creeping into my mind
the things we did and said
nights we held each other tight
days in the desert, the minutes the hours
the wine and the flowers
the uncontrollable laughter, the impromptu dance, endless conversation,
the hugs, the kisses, the joy, the pain
knowing I’ll never see you again
Why is it so hard for me to let go?

07/01/06 © Lunarmax Productions

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” Richard Bach

Communication

An exceedingly wise woman
author and mother of three
while consumed in conversation shared this thought with me…
“Writing is like giving birth.”
She oughta know...

And so when I write…

I give birth to interesting ideas
imparting imagery to experience
granting life to a legacy
that will obviously outlive me
become exactly what I want it to be
say exactly what I want it to say
perpetuate my take
my slant
a verbal implant.

Words of dignity…
instead of vanity...
it’s my therapy…
keeps my sanity…
that's what writing does for me.

We all have a unique perspective
only you can express your view
communication is the objective
nobody sees the world quite like you do.

© Lunarmax 2003 All Rights Reserved

Dreams, love and analogies

Rarely do I remember dreams but I can still see last night’s clearly. I was standing at an open door at La Corrida (the bullfight) when I came face to face with a bear-sized wolf that had dark evil looking rings around its eyes. We made eye contact and he sensed my fear but never attacked me. As if he knew that I was protected by a greater power. Then I went into an upstairs penthouse condo to attend a celebrity party. Everyone was having a grand time but when I looked out the oversized windows the creature was still in the ring downstairs chasing people. Maybe it was the spicy tofu with vegetables and fried rice I ate late last night or maybe the dream has some meaning.

I had some really low points in my life this week because of love (or the lack thereof). On the flipside, the high point of my week was establishing contact with jazz guitarist Steve Oliver. I just saw him at the San Diego Jazz Festival. We have exchanged about four e-mails this week. I’m surprised that he would take the time to write.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem 'In Memoriam:27', 1850: "I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."

At 8 o’clock it was already 88 degrees but I was nonetheless determined to hike the daunting 4-mile trail to the 8000-foot pinnacle of Sabino Mountain. I’m used to the lush greenery and abundant water in the Smoky Mountains, so I had to learn to appreciate the beauty of the Catalinas. There hasn’t been any significant rainfall since I moved here in October (guess that’s why it’s called the desert)! Locals tell me that we’re inundated with monsoons every summer, but I’ll believe it when I see it. The desert has its own distinctive beauty. Today I observed darting deer, scampering squirrels, leaping lizards, beautiful birds (even hummingbirds) and sinuous snakes.

Just a few weeks ago it was spring, and the bright yellow flowers graced the saguaro cactii, but on this fourth day of summer I noticed that the flowers had dried up and given way to over-ripened bright red saguaro cactus fruit… burst at the seams so the fowl of the air could pick its seeds. The scene reminded me of a bleeding broken heart…that’s been picked at so many times, its gaping wounds are evident to life’s passersby.

"Take it! take another little piece of my heart now, baby, Oh, oh, break it! Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, Oh, oh, have a Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey, You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good." Janis Joplin

Like hiking in the mountains, life has its peaks and valleys. Unfortunately you have to go through the valley before you get to the mountaintop. There’s something about fresh mountain air that just clears the cobwebs and enables you to think clearly. When you’re on top of the mountain you can see clearly. You can look back at where you’ve been, see where you going and while you’re there you can bask in the light of God’s presence.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

After breaking up with my first love at the tender young age of 21, I remember writing “It’s so nice to wake up in the morning all alone, and not have to tell someone you love them when you don’t love them anymore.” However after 30 years I painfully realize the converse is also true. “What an awful thing to wake up in the morning feeling alone and tell someone you love them and realize that your love is unrequited.”

Sometimes we want love so badly that we overlook the thorns just to see the rose. You know you gonna get caught in bramble but you experience the thorn anyway. Only to walk away pierced and bleeding.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

Coming down the mountain the temperature had already soared to 105 degrees. Skyrocketing temperatures only exacerbate the situation. The only relief is a smattering of scattered stratus clouds and some occasional tree shade. Analogous to life, when it feels like you can’t go on, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and no matter the size of the step you keep getting closer to the goal. And the funny thing is when the goal is in sight, no matter how tired you are, your load seems lighter, your pace quickens and your perspective changes. You take baby steps …and move forward.

"Sometimes the lights all shinin on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been." Grateful Dead

Arizona Sonora Desert Museum

Had a really cool day today! Got the chance to visit the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum today with some friends! That place is teeming with plants and animal wildlife! Everything was lovely. After a cool morning, we had a sunny 80 degree day. The place is full of palo verde, palmetto and mesquite trees (just to name a few) and every kind of cactus imaginable (saguaro, la cholla, cereus, barrel)!

I got there just in time for the 10:30 AM raptor free flight which featured a raven, a barn owl and a ferrous hawk today. Then I took some great shots of hummingbirds, bighorn sheep, javalinas, black bear, deer, coyotes, squirrels, prarie dogs, killdeer, doves, quail, ocelot, fox, margay, coati mundi and prarie dogs. It was truly a blessed day. I couldn't have asked for a better time with friends!

Back to Blogging

I haven't posted to this blog since I first moved out here to Arizona. I guess I was so focused on the new job and new beginnings that I just neglected the luxury of blogging. Old relationships, like old habits, die hard. But die sometimes they must. If I would only pay attention to the things I knew all along, I may have avoided years of frustration and heartache. But that's life...sometimes we learn from other's mistakes and other times we must make mistakes ourselves. So after four months, seasons have changed and it's time to move forward. Time to get back to the therapy of blogging.

Yesterday I took one of those real age tests and based on my input it seems I'm older than my years. One of the strikes against me was the fact that I don't have any pets. Seems pets relieve stress, give you unconditional love and loyalty, not to mention the snuggle factor. Experts say that could add 4 to 10 years to your life! I have had pets at many stages of my life but not currently. I can't have a pet where I live right now. But when I move closer to Tucson this fall, I'm gonna get a dog...a big one to wrestle with, walk with, talk with, to give me undying loyalty and unconditional love. Because that's the only way I'm gonna receive it. Maybe I'll get a cat too! Yeah and some fish, lots of fish and maybe even some birds...a veritable managerie. They'll either drive me insane or take so many years off my life I'll be an adolescent again. Now that's the ticket!

Destined for the Desert

Well I got packed and finally drove out from Florida last Tuesday about 11:00 AM. But not before experiencing one last torrential Florida thunderstorm as I made my way up I-75. Traveling across the panhandle was nice across I-10 and I hoped to get a room somewhere around Pensacola but I kept driving until Pascagoula, MS. Tried to get a hotel room but there were none available. That area had been hit hard by Hurricane Katrina, many hotels were damaged and any usable rooms weres full of locals or disaster relief workers.

So I drove back to Mobile, AL but found the same scenario there. After searching for some length of time, I gave up and decided to keep going. I drove until about 12:30 AM and found a rest area somewhere between Louisiana and Texas and slept there until daylight. (Got to see first hand the terrible hurricane damage in Alabama, Louisiana and Texas). Wednesday morning I began the journey across Texas and drove until about 5:00 PM. Spent the night at a motel in Junction, TX, swam in the pool, ate Mexican and got a good night's rest. It was nice and cool that evening but the next morning it was freezing cold! It rained just about all the way though Texas and never did get above 65 degrees. What a rude awakening!

On day three of my cross country trip, I tackled the other half of Texas, made my way across New Mexico that afternoon, by sunset drove into Arizona, arrived in Tucson by 7:30 that night. Stayed at a hotel in Tucson over the weekend because the movers did not arrive until yesterday. Unloaded everything in a matter of hours and put the bed together but by midnight I was exhausted, but I finally got to sleep in my own bed! I didn't wake up until 9:00 this morning and that was only because my sister called. (I have to remind her about the three hour time difference!)

I'm currently living in Rancho Sahuarita, a planned community in the desert (about 90 minutes from Mexico). There are so many amenities for the residents there ... clubhouse, sports bar, lake for fishing or boating, water park, olympic size swimming pool, fitness center, coffee shop and many, many trails. Went hiking on Sunday in the mountains and plan to hike 14 miles this weekend. It's a different world out here but I'm learning to appreciate all of God's creation!

Unlovely Rita

Remember "Lovely Rita" from The Beatles Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?

"Lovely Rita meter maid nothing can come between us When it gets dark I tow your heart away
Standing by a parking meter when I caught a glimpse of Rita"

Unfortunately Hurricane Rita will be anything but lovely. Like her sister Katrina, she has already breached some levees in New Orleans and will likely flood portions of Texas. Rita's already being blamed for the death of 24 elderly evacuees, during the chaotic mass evacuation. Although the storm has been downgraded to a Category 3, Katrina's vivid memories are causing Gulf Coast Texans to take Rita seriously. Galveston, which is directly in Rita's line of fire was the site of 6000 deaths during an unnamed storm in the year 1900.